Useless shit.

Practically today had school. School was kinda fun except physics class . As usual it's damn boring. I finally handed up my chinese exercise book. Skipped aep cos got match. Match was really great for my lovely team-mates. They did a great job as for me i guess i did not.

Yes, i cried during the match. I couldn't take it any longer. But it's just the fact that jl didn't sub me down because i'm too useless, i'm too lousy, or even i'm not stronger than them. I told myself not to cry in front of team, but naturally it just happen. During the 4th quarter, jl put me down. I was on my verge to cry already, but still hold back. Try my best, but i guess i didn't. During the first 3 quarters, i'm already doubting if jl could put me down. In my heart i'm telling myself " FAT HOPE, SHERMAINE. YOU WON'T EVEN GET TO PLAY MAN. " That's wad i tell myself. I have been thinking alot thru out the whole 3 quarters: whether am i too useless? Whether am i a burden to this team? And if i know tat this would happen i would have given the chance to either Riana or Pamela. They're much more better than me in a way that they're playmakers and could contribute to the team but me? I'm just a useless player in there, whenever my team-mates are tired or being fouled out or too much fouls i'm the subsitute one. I feel so awkard. I don't know why but this kind of feeling just made me give up. Whenever jl doesnt put me down, i'm always telling myself: Shermaine you're just too lousy for the game". I may not show it out , i can still be laughing my ass out, cheering for you all and stuffs. But inside, i'm really hating myself alot, a big time. I'm thinking now, why jl chose me and not riana or pamela. Thet're really worth it for they're better than me. I'm really sucked a big time. My confidence had drop alot alot already. Since i won't be playing for nationals, i guess maybe this year zonals might be the last time i will even play for the team man. Even if i get back for sec 5, jl will still let me be the subsitute one. The one will wait for the most imp players to get tired and sub in one. I really hate myself for being so useless, so lousy. Maybe i should just give up. I think i'm such a let down to the team .

And ramona, thanks for the words too. :) I'm not lik what you said, i don't create any miracles in game. I'm just not a good player but a useless team-mate you had. You're doing great, keep it up! :)

After game, played ball in school. Met bf and trained back home @ 750pm.
Heading town tmr with mum :)

I got a polaroid! Thanks to bf :) Love you.

Shermaine.

Love's like a battlefield.

I just had my reunion dinner with my grandmother place ( for my mother's side) . Didn't had much food as my ulcer :( Stupid lor. I'm damn bored.

Just now morning had my tuition. After tat, bathed and then meet with team. Headed to Queensway, we stayed in tat shop for like long mannnnnn! Just to choose blue or black!!!!!!! HAHA. After tat, brought sportbra. :) Finally. Than, trained to cck. Shop @ cotton on with riana, diane, lijun. After tat homed.

Changed, brought my sister to her friend's party. And than cab down to mygrandma's place.

Friday gone for training, omfg, i'm so like tired mannnnnnn! Maybe becos long time no train than become lik tat. DAMN ASS.

Alright, i miss my bf.
Bye.

C'mon baby.

Yesterday's school was damn shag, after school i feel damn sick. Skipped Aep and went home. At home did nothing but sleep. Text bf only after i wake up. 11plus i fell asleep again. :(

Today's school was shag too. Back home after school. Skipped aep and i didn't attend training. I damn damn sick now, sian.

I wanna go eat.
Bye.

Today was a fairytale.

Let's start with saturday man.

Saturday : It was a really great day. Was at home tuitioning till 11 plus. Than, i was at home till 3. I went to the vet @ sunshine place with my dog, saviour. He need to get his 2nd vaccination, but due to some problem with his itchy itchy skin now, so he had to eat medicine and had to postpone the vaccination once he's well. Get well soon, baby. I remembered something, he went to some room to let the vet see, after 5 minutes he fell asleep there cos there's air-conditon. Lol. He loves air con! HAHA. Alright, i'm crapping. After tat, i realised i comfirm will late to meet with minwei they all. So called mw to tell him i'll be late. Then i quickly went back home, bathed and changed. Then quickly go out already. Met up with mw and jasper they all. Then they ate. I didn't. Then trained to city hall. Met up with wesley than walk to mall to get drinks. Than walked to the concert hall. Lot of people.

The concert was okay, most of the time i was talking with mw. HAHA. Took pictures with LOVE too. HAHA. Then, after the concert, i and mw walked around esplanade there. Talked alot with him, and he actually asked me. (SHY) Haha, i accepted. So yes, we've patched. :) We continue talking, and joking. Till 11 plus. Went over to the taxi stand, the queue was long, super long. No choice called for cab, but there's no cab too. So, i called my dad. My dad helped me call , after around 30 min, then the cab finally had come. So, i headed to chervons to meet with my dad and cousin, while mw went home. Reached home around 1plus.

That day was the day i really enjoyed without my parent calling me all the night, asking where am i. HAHA! Crap i know.

Alright, i skip training today. I'm having flu and sore throat and now slight fever, and gastritis pain too. After school, had lunch. Back home with bf's accompany.

Now, i wanna go and have my d&t time. :)
Shermaine.

I wanna hug you.

Sunday spent my day with my family. At home and far east. Brought Vans shoe :):):) And yessssssssssssssss! Today is the start of the silent reading progamme. Made me wake up early in the morning , ASS. The reading was damn sucky. School for me was damn sucky also. I wanted to sleep that's the sentence in my mind till school finished. Aep : was busy doing math work. After tat, went home. Yes, i'm going to the concert band one on saturday :):):):) LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I wanna go watch show alr,
Shermaine.